full
empty

and there was nothing.
nothing left in the end.


introduction
confession

zishing
04-12-1992
no preferences
nothing particular.
the place people come to for help.
and that's about it.


out
in

AB
AiPing
Amos
Andy
Baka-Tsuki
Caroline
ChinHian
Dom
De-Coder's Cafe a.k.a.Yap
Hisyam
JingSheng
LeeYang
Kee
Leonard
LiJie
MarcusChan
Matilda
Max
MelWeh
RongRong
RuiFen
Sarah
SiHui
Stewart
Sumo
Valerie
Zak


past
present

August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 May 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 February 2011 April 2011 September 2011 November 2011

thank
request

designer: frozen.d}
resources: x


(Thursday, February 14, 2008/9:54 PM)

nocturne
now it is night.
night is when the fireflies shine.
shine the brightest.

so i treasure each day.
and knowing that somehow.
we're all going to make it through.



secrets are meant to be told.
today's school day was of the fantasy.
how to describe something so intricately.
that it could not be described anymore.

i am not here to talk about anything particular.
i am not here to condemn.
i am not here to praise.
i am not here to talk about anything particular.

stevens road. it's pretty close to my place.
i know two people who live there.
they were a memory i thought i had long gotten rid of.

i wish.
upon a fish.
that somehow.
in my words...

my blogger just gave me a large red banner on top with an "ERROR" message on it.
what signs couldn't prompt me more?

i can say what i would like to say,
for myself.


today i saw many people on the bus and the like.
they were all holding on to a gift.
a rose.
something else.
who knows.

life is fragile.
i remember from my secondary 2 days.
"the higher you climb,
the harder you fall."
i guess i didn't really get.
that high as i thought.

i ripped up lyrics for the linkin park song.
that ended up in my hands somehow.
i joked with my friends on how.
the person who lost this,
actually wanted to buy crocs for his/her valentine,
along with singing the song.
only he/she lost the lyrics.
i don't make assumptions.

people are lazy.
they would rather not build downwards.
downwards is a tough job.
but yet below is where all the good things lie.

i also met my grandfather while boarding the bus.
somehow he went out to buy TOTO.
not bad timing either.
it was the first time in 4 years.

maybe there is a place up there.
and maybe there is a place down there.
but utopia or rapture.
i don't make assumptions.
so i will leave it as the name says.
it's a place.

yet it was all quite unexpected.
i walked the slow way with my grandfather.
who insisted i go ahead without him.
but i insisted otherwise, anyway.
he doesn't argue for more than one statement.

i don't make assumptions.
and my belief is.
we don't make the judgments either.
so who are we to say.
what will happen.
do you think you are a god?

minami-ke ookawari.
the disappointment of the season.
still, slice of life are supposed to be like that.
i just wish my slice of life would be like that.

the grown-ups always tell you.
a joke is as far as you can go.
i bet they were joking when they said that.
because usually the serious stuff ends up more serious.
than the jokes.

"5 centimeters per second."
"huh?"
"they say that is how fast the cherry blossoms fall in the spring."
"you sure know your stuff very well don't you?"
"i just hope we can get to see them again next year."
"together."

as i gaze forth.
the scene replays in my mind.
it is a scene i have never witnessed with my own,
innocent eyes.
yet it flashes vigorously through my mind,
as if it just happened a second ago.

he journeyed through the calm.
where the snow started.
with the letter in his pocket.
the amount of white started to increase with each rotation of the wheel.

what is done has come to pass.
what i wrote yesterday.
was proved wrong.
which was a rare stance.
because people don't usually bother proving me wrong.

slowly.
the entire locomotive once filled with commuting glory.
was now covered in a thick sheet of white.
and it didn't help the train keep warm.

and i guess that knowing i am wrong.
is a good thing.
so i shall try to work harder.
until i can enter the building again.

the minutes of delay built up.
every stop it got worse and worse.
at the interchange he decided to buy something warm.
only to see his letter fly away into the white storm.

yes.
you can't change what has already past.
it is quite frustrating to know.
my hand couldn't reach far enough.

in deep frustration.
but not anger.
he boarded the train.
only to have it stop again.
in the middle of the barren, now white wilderness.

but yet deep in my heart.
i know that throwing one starfish.
makes the difference to that starfish.
so i'll pick up the dead starfish.
and throw it back too.

each minute was his eternity.
every second he cringed in pain.
as he set his watch on the metal tray.
the seconds ticked on and on.
into minutes and hours.

oh starfish.
there are so many things i want to say to you.
and i believe that you will still hear me.
so hear me now.

and after 2 hours.
120 minutes.
7200 seconds.
the locomotive creaked.
and the wheels began to turn again.

what has past cannot be changed.
so i hope you will somehow move on.
with the life we have yet to experience.
you have skipped to it so much faster than us.

as the snow continued pouring down.
the train finally reached the station.
he got out, expecting her to already have gone.
but he knew her so well.
she wouldn't do that.

you did what was best for yourself.
everything we do is best for ourselves.
because once we do it. we can only regret.
we cannot do something better than it anymore.

and so they ate.
and they drank.
and he said it was the best he had ever tasted.
she said he was just exaggerating.

i hope we all have no regrets.
because regretting yields no results.
the only way is forward.
so why don't we go there?
and then i threw the small starfish into the sea.
to let it settle to the bottom.

then they walked to the big tree.
it was big as she said.
and then they slept in a shed.
after talking for hours and hours.

and the next morning he took his leave.
he did not say anything about the letter.
and then and there he left.
and while the locomotive pulled away.
she gripped her letter in her hand.

and then we shall walk off.
moving along the shore.
while everything dries up.
i will try to save you.

while i can.


...



i want to see them fall.
standing alongside you.
we shall do exactly that.
just watch.
as they fall.

5 centimeters a second.



now it is night.
night is when the fireflies shine.

shine the brightest.